The Remarkable Hippo- Maya

I was at the mall when I walked by the most remarkable animal I had ever seen. I know it’s weird, but it was a hippo. It was big and yellow, and it walked as gingerly as possible. However, it still made a loud noise as it walked. I went up to pet it, and I discovered that I wasn’t afraid of a big hippo. The problem was, he didn’t have an owner. I walked him home because I knew he needed a home. We are best friends now, and we do everything together. Life wouldn’t be complete without him.

6 thoughts on “The Remarkable Hippo- Maya”

  1. Hello, Maya!

    I have to agree that seeing a hippo at the mall would be very remarkable. I enjoy reading your imaginative work.

    I have to admit, I had a hard time believing that any of this could have happened at the mall. Perhaps if this were a stuffed hippo in a store, of if you were at the zoo, I may have connected with the idea.

    How did you know he did not have a home?

    Hemingway

    1. Hi Hemingway. I had the setting in the mall because I thought it would be really unusual to see a hippo wandering around in the mall. I wanted to make the story as interesting as possible. I knew he didn’t have an owner because I took him to security, but no one claimed him there. I didn’t make that part very clear, and I’m sorry. Thanks for your feedback. Maya

  2. Hi Maya,

    Your story was very good. I really like hippos so I liked this story. Next time you should add some dialog it would make your story flow more.

    Thank you, Jack

  3. Your punctuation is really accurate. Also we love your creative idea. However we think you should improve your sentence openers.

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