The Gold Mine- Cate

In the dark mine everyone was looking for gold. Suddenly, I saw something remarkable! I discovered a shimmering yellow rock in the rocks! It was gold! I gingerly picked it up and brushed off all of the dust off of the “gold”. When I wiped off the “gold”, I saw a normal rock was spray painted gold! It was a fake! I knew what was happening, however, it still didn’t make complete sense. Why would someone put fake gold in a mine? Suddenly, the ground started shaking. A minute later, I found myself falling in a large tube. Oh no!

2 thoughts on “The Gold Mine- Cate”

  1. Hi, Cate.

    Once again, this is a piece that is well written, full of adjectives, and loaded with excitement.

    You said that you “knew what was happening.” So, of course I am curious to find out what DID happen! I hope you tell!

    Be careful about your commas (line 1, and inside the quotations).

    By the way, why would someone place fake gold in the mine?

    Keep creating,
    Hemingway

  2. That was an interesting story I liked the topic you used. I enjoyed the ways you used your words. Next time it would be nice if you could use some dialogue. Your a wonderful author!

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