IT WAS HEAVIER THAN I EXPECTED BY OLIVIJA

It was an average day in the Grand Canyon, birds were chirping, people were hiking, and me and my friends were talking. This had been the moment we had all been waiting for since a year ago!! We had been so ecstatic that when we got out of the bus we all started jumping. I helped Jimmy off, his bag was heavier than I expected. We started to walk up the first cliff. Once we got to the top we were amazed by the beauty, we took a lot of photos, then we heard a scream and Jimmy was gone.

5 thoughts on “IT WAS HEAVIER THAN I EXPECTED BY OLIVIJA

  1. Hi from Olivia,
    wow I love your writing but sometimes your writing always ends with a cliff hanger maybe you should change it up for a bit but that is totally your choice. I also love the way you don’t make the story about the prompt you just use it as a sentence to make the story more detailed. B.T.W what happen’d to Jimmy also good usage of capitals and full stops.

  2. Hi Olivija,
    I really enjoyed your story this week. It is very nicely written and you have used the prompt very well. You have included lots of detail which helps your reader visualise the scene. I love the unexpected ending too! Great writing.
    Ms Brennock
    Hub Buddy

  3. Oh no! What has happened to Jimmy? Come on Olivija, finish the story! Your readers atria all on tenterhooks waiting. Great creative piece of writing for this 100WC prompt, well done.

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