CANNONBALL – Ashlynn E

Me and my crew were being attacked!!!! We were making diner when we heard a ‘BOOM’ on the side of the castle. We loaded up the cannons and fired them. We were in extreme battle. Then the king figured out a plan. We would send one person out and make them look like a bystander so then we can fire the cannons and kill them. We did the plan and it worked! We celebrated with a HUGE dinner and dessert and celebrated our victory! We are super glad to have a good king in our castle!

2 thoughts on “CANNONBALL – Ashlynn E

  1. Ashlynn, I’m pleased your king had a plan, but certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be the innocent person sent out to be a bystander!
    I appreciated your use of exclamation marks and the onomatopoeic BOOM. They certainly brought a sense of action to your writing.
    Thanks for sharing this week,
    Jackie (Team 100WC)
    New Zealand

  2. Hi Ashlynn,
    I love how the King’s plan worked. I thought maybe you were going to be the person sent out to be the bystander, which would have been a very dangerous job.
    Minor point – ‘My crew and I’ rather than ‘me and my crew’.
    However, I enjoyed your story and hearing about the huge dinner and dessert you had after the battle.
    Well done!
    Michelle, Team 100wc,
    Melbourne, Australia

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